scunnerred

Stirling now has it's first ever gay bar. Sadly, it's not very good. The people running it have obviously no idea how to run a bar and have pretty much ruined what had been a good place to go for a drink by re-opening it with terrible decor (gulag chic don't work), ear bleedingly loud bad music and poor quality drink choice. On the plus side the staff were pleasant and enthusiastic. We happened to be in there for quiz night which was hilariously bad. Paper is the first wedding anniversary? 6 is what the pink ball is worth in snooker? Well, we had both of them marked wrong and then half the teams argued with the quiz master.

It's a music meme that's going around and I'm a sucker for those

(1) Turn on your music player or computer
(2) Go to SHUFFLE songs mode,
(3) Write down the first 30 songs that come up--song title and artist--NO editing/cheating

1, Codeine - Jr
2. The Breeders - Roi (Reprise)
3. Cypress Hill - 3 Lil' Putos
4. Leftfield - Dub Gusset
5. Bruce Springsteen - Atlantic City
6. Spoon - Black Like Me
7. David Bowie - TVC 15
8. Early Songs - Effess
9. Ella Fitzgerald - I Got It Bad (And That Ain't Good)
10. U2 - Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me
11. Fountains Of Wayne - Radiation Vibe
12. John Martyn - The Man In The Station
13. Elbow - One Thing (live Amerie cover)
14. Soulwax - Overweight Karate Kid
15. David Holmes - Got Fucked Up Along The Way
16. Magnapop - Ride
17. Manu Chao - Panik Panik
18. Groove Armada - Turning In
19. Chemical Brothers - Fuck Up Beats
20. Johnny Cash - I See A Darkness
21. Roots Manuva - Aricial
22. Revolver - Wave
23. Bomb The Bass - Don't Make Me Wait
24. Count Basie & Duke Ellington - Corner Pocket
25. ZZ Top - Tush
26. David Holmes - Live From The Peppermint Store
27. Jack Penate - Be The One
28. Chapterhouse - Breather
29. Crowded House - Walked Her Way Down
30. Jazzsteppa - Taylor Rain

So what have we learned here? Well, apart from the fact I appear to still be living in the 90s and that I'm away to listen to Fountains Of Wayne, not much.

Music writer David Quantick's Twittering of the Jackson memorial was rather good and wholly inappropriate reading but then, that was a bizarre, bizarre piece of television.

It just occurred to me I forgot to thank Dermot for helping to deliver the buffet. I had a hell of a day with a bit of a meltdown. Not the worst one ever, I'd say about 70%. as I wasn't swearing that much but I did kind of threaten some customers. But in a good way. It never ceases to surprise me when I witness someone else's surprise on being offered a free refill of coffee. It rarely happens here.

I felt a wee bit bad about dermfitz 's visit. I usually do when friends come for lunch and I'm having a less than pleasant day. On the plus side he got to try some of The Vegan's home-made elderflower cordial. Cos that stuff is like crack.

After he left, I spent a therapeutic hour cleaning and conditioning me dad's sideboard which resides in the cafe. My hands still smell of almonds.

Right, so I've reached a point in my life where I realise I don't give a toss about street-cred and also don't want to fork out 250 quid for a pair of prescription ones so I now own a pair of clip on sunglasses. Is that bad? Should I be ashamed? I really only use them for driving and I'm really sad I couldn't find a pair of Ed Rooney flippy ones.

US rapper Soulja Boy's new song "Kiss Me Through The Phone" contains a phone number for a couple in Oldham. Poor souls were ex-directory:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/8127460.stm

And now, back to my delicious salad.

The weekend was fast and I worked all of it, yet again. Friday I bartended at the Malcolm Middleton gig, which was rather good and culminated in an excellent cover of Bryan Adams' Run To You. Saturday was quite busy and I ended up slumping in front of the tv after making some pizza which made me miss pizza Mondays up in Aberdeen. On Sunday Ford & Topher came in for lunch and it was lovely to see them, they're always good company and for some reason are rather astute in making me realise I need to take a break. Sunday was also the end of year five of me owning a business. I'm relieved I haven't broke it yet but sometimes it can be touch and go, my heart hasn't been in it for a wee while but the summer holidays are upon us and it will be very busy. Hopefully during this chaos I'll regain some of my mojo. I celebrated with a wee dram or two and watching the BBC's coverage of Glastonbury. Madness made me a bit teary eyed, Nick Cave, Tom Jones and Bat For Lashes were great and Blur were immense, can't wait to see them for myself in a couple of weeks at T in the Park. I registered at the Glasonbury website for tickets for next year. Eight of us so far want to go and I'm thinking of hiring a bus.

The internet is obviously exploding as we speak a cetain celebrity who may or may not have died. I am more sad about the death of late, great, Steven Wells, a hilariously vicious music journalist who wrote for the NME. I bought the magazine every week when I first started getting into music, I used to love his abusing and winding up of bands on a weekly basis. His farewell column contains a very spooky last line:

http://www.philadelphiaweekly.com/news-and-opinion/in-extremis/Steven-Wells-Says-Goodbye-49054426.html

So, what's been happening? Well, as I may have posted in my rather inebriated state on Friday, I went to see In The Loop. It's the funniest thing I've seen in a cinema since Jackass. I was raving about it to Michael as I believe it's coming out in the US next month, well worth seeing.

My hayfever has been attacking my eyes these past few days in a big way. Always happens at this time of year, I think it's a specific type of pollen but I don't know which one. I'll just have to keep attacking it with Opticrom or just spend the day weeping.

That photo I took of the Cable Car Museum got included in the Schmap Guide. Hurray!

Steve and Lissa came round for some dinner and watermelon margaritas then we went to the A Hawk And A Hacksaw gig on Saturday. The singer had the shits so they only played instrumentals for 40 minutes then had to leave the stage for him to fracture the bowl again and they didn't return. On the way back from the show I walked past the supposed opening night of Stirling's new and only gay bar. So, it's the exact same as the previous bar that was there ecxept they've put up a rainbow flag and the neds loitering outside did look a bit sexually confused.

My Ipod is still dying slowly. It starts playing a song then part way through it goes "sod it, don't like this one" and starts playing the next song. It really doesn't like The Hold Steady or any band name starting with King. Huffy little bastard, I want to listen to King Biscuit Time!

Last night I indulged in my usual Longest Day tradition of going out for a drive while it was still twilight at midnight. I headed further North to Loch Lubnaig with some good music and a balmy evening. It were lovely.

In The Loop did. I finally saw it tonight and want to see it again. Set in London and Washington in the run-up to a recent, unamed war. It's a superb piece if satire about people further down the political chain. So many classic lines. And any film that has a "swearing consultant" is alright with me. Let the swearing commence...

Just bartended at the Wave Machines gig. I also made them their dinner, Thai green curry, which they thoroughly enjoyed and gave an onstage thank you for. Lovely people. Bandmember Tony, a handsome bearded chap with an excellent hat, came to personally thank me so I ended up going for a drink with them afterwards. Their music is rather good, arty, synth pop and Kanye West is a fan. I will be buying the album when it comes out next week. Here, have a listen:

Way to go, Britain. Vote for the hateful, venomous scum why don't you?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8088381.stm

I've been pretty whelky this week. Obviously first I'm going to have to explain what that means. It comes from the term "morning whelks" which me and Michael invented for the slightly braindead feeling non-morning people get, those who are still clinging to the rocks of night while all around them the daytime sea rages. Pure poetic, eh? I've never been a fan of morning people. Those "up and at em" types that think just because they are up, everyone else has to participate in Their day. They show no consideration and should go about their morning silently as some people are still trying to bloody sleep! This term was invented the weekend of Steve & Lissa's wedding when the hotel gardener decided to start leaf blowing outside our room at 7.45am and then the following morning when Steve's dad decided to phone our room twice at 7.30 to find out who was returning the kilts, Michael told him to fuck off the second time which he politely failed to hear.

I'm still trying to get over Le Weekend last weekend. One 12 and two 15 hour days of solid work on the back of a 29 day stretch without a day off. Still haven't had one yet, poor me. Le Weekend was pretty good this year. It averages out, there was some marvellous experimental music but there is also some amount of pish to wade through in between. This year I particularly enjoyed Eddie Marcon - Japanese acid folk and also Jazzsteppa which was jazz dubstep though they obviously didn't take a massive leap of imagination regarding the name. Also, Adrian Utley from Portishead really enjoyed my roasted vegatable and fontina pasta bake, he even went back for seconds. The Le Weekend dinner went really well, as previously reported there was a man with a massive gong and a man with a decidedly average sax but they both knew what to do with them.

I'm now going to go and enjoy my chicken dopiaza.